80th Birthday Poem

by Cicely Belle Blain, 2011

Firstly, I’d like to warn you that I'm not so good at prose,

Well, nor am I excellent at poetry as it goes. But to add even more excitement to these joyous times,

I decided to throw in a bit of casual rhyme. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen for gathering here today, And endless apologies for the following clichés. Nana, if you hadn't noticed, you've lived for 80 years, And with these people here, shared laughter joy and tears,

With my secret sources, A.K.A. The Internet, I have calculated 29,220 days,

you've been on this planet

So many memories, a fraction of which I've heard And others, which, perhaps intentionally, have become slightly blurred. Take for example, the drunken nights, spent on the lawn,

Probably singing 'lulalulabyebye' or something, until dawn.

Note also, the grammar school days of near expulsion, And the hitchhiking across the world with only feminine compulsion. Remember misusing the book of rations

Or trying hairstyles long out of fashion?

Don't forget the time you embarrassed me beyond repair,

Arriving at the school gate without a care... To my teacher, you gave an almighty grin, Your mouth open, and to my horror, no dentures there within! And poor mother, on that trip to France, When you pinched the unwitting woman on the... bottom.

As much as some of these moments have scarred us for life,

We are so lucky to have you through pain and strife. You are an oracle of wisdom and my own guiding star,

You've helped the community here and afar, A true angel, wherever you are. I hope that this evening is the night of all nights (even if my height of my shoes gives you a fright) I know that you'll ask me 'gosh, are you wearing mascara?'

And I'll reply, 'yes! I'm 17, you banana!' And I'm sure you'll ask your sisters 'what are you having for dinner?'

As it seems, with you, that line is a winner. To your brother, you'll ask, 'Alfred, how are ya?'

He'll reply 'what?!' and that will go on for an hour! As you can see from the number of people here,

You've made so many friends over the years, If I could get to 80 and be as popular as this I'd say; 'boy, that is a life well- lived!'

There are no words for an honourable description,

Fun, loving, kind and a true inspiration,

Just a sample of what you will find,

When the evening is over, and the guestbook is signed.

A better grandmother would be very hard to come by,

Well, in the opinion of Remy and I.

We understand that the Labour Party comes before us,

It's fine, really, honestly, no fuss!

It doesn't matter, because we love you to bits,

And that is why we organised this.

I know everyone here is with me when I say,

You have a place in our hearts, and there you will stay.

Jean Robertson, HAPPY80TH BIRTHDAY!